Anheuser-Busch Faces Class Action Suit Over Allegedly Watered Down Beer

There are no limits to the imagination of “class action” attorneys who want to find an issue to raise on behalf of those little people allegedly victimized by the conduct of the big corporate defendant. As most people know, the class plaintiffs in any such suit generally each get a few bucks, or a coupon for 50% off future purchases of the product in issue, while the attorneys reel in millions of dollars in fees for representing the class. I don’t begrudge the attorneys their contingent fee — if you take the risk of litigation you should reap the reward — but class action cases just seem so inequitable because instead of an individual plaintiff receiving the bulk of any settlement or verdict, millions of “plaintiffs” really get nothing. The more troubling part are the trivial things they come up with over which to file suit. The whole idea behind bringing a class action suit over some minor issue is that it is fiscally more reasonable for the defendant to settle the claim than to litigate it. I only wish more of them really went to trial, where the proof of some actual damage is required. The latest ingenious claim is that Anheuser-Busch has “watered down” their beer. To their credit, A-B is fighting back with an advertising campaign mocking the idea that they water down their product. But what I’d really like to see is the actual trial on these claims. How do the plaintiffs march into court and assert that they were damaged by getting LESS alcohol? Are they going to claim that in order to get good and wasted they had to buy 12 beers instead of 11? That when they got pulled over for drunk driving they only blew a .07 instead of the legally required .08 to get that DUI ticket because A-B was cheating them out of alcohol? And if it is really watered down, they likely got a few less calories than expected. Are they going to assert that their beer gut just doesn’t measure up to their buddies?http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photography-pouring-beer-image5000172

We all understand the concept that we expect to get what we paid for. If you expected your beer to be 5% alcohol and for some reason it was only 4.9%, then the seller didn’t meet their end of the bargain. No doubt about it. And I guess this is what the plaintiff lawyers here are really trying to say. But seriously, is this the kind of thing that should be tying up our legal system? This is the kind of suit that really does give lawyers a bad name. I’m upset. Think I’ll go have a beer…or maybe two.

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